Today in News: Politicos Face Coital Boycott
WASHINGTON — As deadlock over Merrick Garland's Supreme Court nomination proceedings approaches its tenth week, an unlikely and unusual group of allies has come out to force the hand of Congress: the extramarital partners of major political leaders.
Escorts, mistresses, boyfriends, and girlfriends are pledging to withhold sex from key Washington honchos until Garland's nomination is considered and voted on. Although the group, Paramours for an Organized and Operational Nation (POON), declined to reveal the names of the officials it collectively serves, spokesperson Constance Starr described the organization’s reach as both broad and deep.
“We’ve got our hands quite literally in the pockets of many members of Congress, and we’re excited to join the American people in demanding accountability,” said Ms. Starr. “Our solidarity can serve as a profound reminder to the leaders of our nation that this is a government by the people and for the people.”
The move isn’t unprecedented on a micro level; however, never has such a large contingent of private bedroom mates (POON boasts a membership of more than 3,500) had a public hand in shaping government policy.
Ms. Starr, who confirmed that the organization acts as a sort of union, said that participating, dues-paying members would be provided a stipend during the boycott. And though she would not speculate on how long it would take for their affected clients to buckle, she expressed confidence in her group's abilities to affect change happen.