Today in News: NFL Takes Player Safety Seriously, Cancels Football
CANTON, OH — In a stunning move at the beginning of its preseason, the NFL cancelled the Hall of Fame Game between the Green Bay Packers and the Indianapolis Colts. Critics who have long lamented what they consider the league's insincere commitment to player safety saw this as an important pivot point.
Boston University's CTE Center released a statement to the AP, saying, "This is a momentous first step in taking seriously the health and safety of football players, which can only actually be done by not playing football. We remain hopeful that the benefits seen will cascade into the college and high school ranks." The CTE Center's research has found an unsurprising-to-anyone-without-brain-damage link between decades of entertainment-driven head trauma and, well, brain damage.
Despite the positive optics of Sunday's outcome, the NFL would not commit to canceling future games or encouraging players to get the fuck out of this debilitating profession. In fact, the league emphasized that, while player safety was at the heart of the decision, the cancellation was due to hard paint on the field.
"Player health is an absolute imperative for the NFL," said Roger Goodell in a prepared statement. "Given the field conditions, we felt these men couldn't repeatedly slam into one another's head at full speed in a safe manner."